Oh, my dear sweet little girl.
I won’t sugar coat it. This journey of single mommyhood is tough, exhausting, and oh so rewarding as I knew it would be when I took on this single mom by choice journey.
With no family nearby, you and I are alone on this journey together, although, we do have a wonderful family daycare caring for you while mommy works in her office helping people with their taxes.
It can be extra tough on mommy as I get no mommy alone time without hiring a babysitter. I would rather save that money for you, my little sweetie girl.
Grandma and grandpa are able to visit you a couple of times a year. You always have great fun playing and eating tasty food during their visits. That is the time mommy get’s a little bit of a break from being supermom.
After all the sweat and tears are done comes joy and pride and love like I’ve never felt before you came into my life this time around.
Your spunky personality keeps me on my toes. Sometimes too much so.
Life has been heavy this past couple of weeks.
Mommy’s career takes a lot of time, Los Angeles traffic has been extra terrible, mommy has taken on additional projects, and the terrible two’s are in full force.
For not one second do I want you to feel that any of this is your fault. You are the sun in my darkening sky at these times. In fact, every single day I leave my office looking forward to my girl running into my arms yelling mommy, mommy.
Even the so-called “terrible twos” are not your fault.
You have spent two long years learning absolutely everything about being a human from learning to eat to learning how to communicate.
You are just testing your boundaries and to be honest, I think at almost 40, I still test the boundaries with your grandmother.
Mommy’s patience does get tested, though.
Especially after a couple long weeks of your antics such as finger painting the carpet flooring and furniture with your yogurt snack. Getting into the hand soap and covering yourself from hair to knees in a thick slimy layer. Trying to get that off was quite the challenge as the soap and bubbles keep multiplying and multiplying and multiplying!
How much higher up do I have to put things for you to not to find a way to get into them?!?
After an extra intense tantrum and refusing your daily nap even though you were extremely tired, a salad that mommy was putting away exploded all over the kitchen. Mommy stopped and stared at that salad like she just didn’t know what to do next.
Just. Stood. There. Shocked.
You looked at mommy with fear in your eyes. Whether that was fear of mommy’s reaction or fear of flying salad, I do not know. But you should NEVER have to fear your mommy.
I left that salad all over the kitchen.
I needed to sit on the floor and hold my girl close. To smell your freshly washed hair and caress your baby soft skin. You put your little head on my shoulder as you silently patted my back and stroked my hair like I do to make you to feel better.
You reminded me how we Ohm together when stressed. So together, we sat cross-legged right there on the floor in the middle of that salad explosion, and Ohm’d three times.
We both know that three Ohm’s is as long as you can sit still. And it is very lucky that three is the perfect number for us.
It is times like this I’m so very glad I taught you Ohm when you were just a tiny infant as you laughed historically at my Ohm’s. I guess I must have looked really funny to you.
You, my beautiful girl are wise beyond your two years and one month of age.
Today, we cleaned up that salad together… You holding the dust pan while I swept it all up to toss in the trash.
We needed to get out of the house and clear our minds, so we got you in your comfortable stroller for a little walk.
You were relaxed and acting a little goofy giggling while sticking your feet up in the air like you did as a little baby.
That stopped me in my tracks.
Those feet aren’t so little anymore but are still little to me. Those are the toes I have loved to kiss and tickle every day since you arrived.
Those ten little toes were the reminder I needed that no matter what happens in life, you make it all so much brighter.
The Disney movie FROZEN really did say it perfectly. The love of your life does not have to be a romantic love. It is the person that completes you with that you did not even realize you were missing.
Stay spunky, my sweetie girl.
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